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Wintergirls — Laurie Halse Anderson

Why? You want to know why?

Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight.

Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all “a disappointment”. Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don’t want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and cut and drink because you need an anaesthetic and it works. For a while. But then the anaesthetic turns into poison and by then it’s too late because you are mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you can’t stop.

Look in the mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you

“Why?” is the wrong question.

Ask “Why not?”

— from Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

 

I will be writing a review-cum-feedback of this book soon, so keep an eye out.

 


All credit for the extract goes to the author of Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson.

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Rhapsody on a Windy Night – T.S. Eliot

Twelve o’clock.
Along the reaches of the street
Held in a lunar synthesis,
Whispering lunar incantations
Dissolve the floors of memory
And all its clear relations,
Its divisions and precisions,
Every street lamp that I pass
Beats like a fatalistic drum,
And through the spaces of the dark
Midnight shakes the memory
As a madman shakes a dead geranium.

— from Rhapsody on a Windy Night by T.S. Eliot

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