I am faced with a potentially awkward predicament (what am I talking about my whole life is an awkward predicament urgh).
My birthday is next week.
I don’t really like my birthday.
*Cue cries of indignation and disbelief*
All the pomp and being the centre of attention and being spoiled really isn’t me.
Plus the awkwardness of receiving presents. For some reason I hate possibility that someone would stress out/spend their money on me.
I’m bad at seeming thankful as well. My only marketable talent is that I’m a world-class liar, but whenever I say I like a present, even if I actually do, I don’t sound at all genuine.
I tend to go down one of three routes with my thank-yous:
Stupidly-bad polite smile (usually reserved for distant relatives, grandparents and those of a sensitive/touchy disposition)
Overly emotional breakdown due to the perfection of the gift — frequently accompanied by blubbing, delirium and visits to the local mental hospital.
(My personal favourite) All-out, full-on, no-holds-barred freakout. Expect hyperventilation, smashing surrounding objects and a strong possibility of passing out.
So, besides the gift-related weirdness, why else don’t I like to celebrate the anniversary of my entry into existence?
The P Word.
I’m fine with them when it’s just casual, but when it’s for my birthday I don’t want to disappoint and I feel a load of pressure and…
I AM TALKING ABOUT PARTIES.
you sick people.
GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER.
Also, my drunk dancing is HORRENDOUS. I literally channel this gorgeous specimen:
So, I’m leaning towards a big, fuckoff NAYYYYY right now.
Eurgh, I can’t even think about it *shudder*
What do you guys think?
YAY OR NAY?